yay burritos!

Some hot ass photos

I’ve been gone awhile as you know, getting all set up with new computer etc. Fuck it feels good to be back though, seriously. What better way to celebrate then with some hot ass girls and some hot as wheels.

This is for you Fast and Furious motherfuckers. Enjoy!

Yes kids, Eltardo is back.

Tomorrow I start blogging and really having some fun.
Hey.. what do you think of this ink? I always wanted something like this, but I was torn between this style and then I somehow talked myself into the idea of getting some comic themed ink. I haven’t started yet because I keep going back and forth and since it’s ink, well, you want to be sure. I don’t know why, I just always liked this look. I’d do a full sleeve if I did it, but what do you think… seriously, comment, don’t be a pussy. Register, comment. Use a fake name if you fucking want to. I don’t care.

It’s raining so that can only mean one thing

It’s raining outside. I was going to go to the store, but some food but fuck that noise. It’s RAINING outside. Fuck snakes, I hate rain. well, I like rain but today, this is the perfect excuse to not go outside. Yes it’s lame. So sue me.

Here’s some random goodies for you… remember, Jesus loves you. (and by Jesus I mean the guy selling oranges on the 405 freeway off ramp.

hahahahahahahaha these guys are fucking hilarious. Gangsta’s are the shit. Boy barbies, nice bling Alice, where’d ya buy that? Thugs R Us? bahahahaha

It’s ok, I iz medic dog… I save him!

Amazon fail

Racist fail

umm.. wtf?

riiiiight

 
this guy’s free gift is a knife. in your stomach. 

being unique is only cool when you’re human.

somebody scared the shit out of him. 

 
I only wish we lived in a world where this was possible.  This would be the gift that keeps on giving. Ten years down the road, you’re sitting around the table for thanksgiving… your Mom gives thanks that Nick is no longer having sex toys delivered to her house. Why would he buy this though? Jesus, Flesh Light all the way baby.

Walgreens fail

I would have written something better like..  there is a meteor coming that is supposed to hit earth in three hours, we’re all going to die, I love you Mom.

I will admit, Entourage  has gotten stale, but Ari is the reason I keep tuning in. Watching him call Lloyd every conceivable slanderous name in the book, well that there is just good television for my dollar. This of course is a mock poster of the movie.. sure it is.

You like that baby? Oh yeaaah, who’s your turtle?

this has been around for a long time.. but what gets me, is that this guy actually thought it was a good idea to do this. Then he made the EPIC FUCKING FAILURE of sending it to a buddy, who, as we now know, repopulated internets with this comedy gold. Thanks buddy.

hey, did you hear the news? Fox’s hit tv show The Fringe has picked up for the rest of the season. It’s not quite X-Files, but I’ll take what I can get.

Lastly… some Jordan Capri badonkadonk.

Jordan’s site is NSFW and you can find it here.

My Girlfriend

When writing a post about one’s girlfriend, one needs to decide ahead of time is he going to be one of the guys and write as a typical guy might… or if he’s going to be more sensitive and write from the heart, not caring if other guys reading later make fun of him for being “whipped”.

For me though, this is a no brainer. My girlfriend is fucking amazing. I met her in 2006 while I was dating someone else. I was on the tail end of dating someone else, the girl I was dating was fucking bothersome and then some, always trying to change me and make me something I wasn’t. Wanting me to quit working with models, you name it.

So I meet my current girlfriend, who we’ll call “B”. I met her and we became friends while I was dating this other girl. I had broken up with the other girl like, 2 times already, I had gotten sick of her (other gf)shit and well, I was at the stage of breaking things off a third time. Why the hell I kept taking back a gf that was not right for me… I’ll never know. I’ve always been the one to break up, and I always got chased by ex’s wanting to reconcile, and I was never dumb enough to do it, but anyway… moving along…

I meet B and we become good friends, she is hanging out with me all the time and it’s like, hanging with one of the guys. She’s down to earth, she’s smart as hell and believe me, that is soooo nice. I have worked with girls for 11 years, a girl being hot is great but trust me, it’s not that important. If you’ve ever dated a hot girl that is dumb as a mud fence, you know that once the sex wears off, you start wishing she’d get hit by a truck or something because talking with her is like fucking Sesame Street or something. been there, done that, more times then I care to admit.

so B and I were quickly becoming amazing friends. She lived near by and then later, we become roommates, as friends of course. I had a crush on her after awhile because she was everything I wanted, but was never able to find. The fact that she’s beautiful was and is merely a bonus.

Have you ever had to dumb down your conversation for someone? You walk away actually feeling bad because you’re smart. With B, she understood me, she followed what I was saying and not only that, she could add to the conversation. WTF? Is this girl for real?

I immediately was on guard… she’s telling me what I want to hear. She *MUST* be. I figured we’d start dating and then sure as hell, right on schedule… she’d try and change me like all the others before her had. She’d tell me she didn’t like me working with hot girls, that she was insecure and one thing would lead to another and booya, my ass is unhappy all over again.

Nope, never happened. Instead, she’d tell me about how she loved what I did and she admired me for what I did. Like I said, she was one of the guys, but with boobs. Through the past two years dating B, I have to come to learn that each day, I love her more than the day before. Sure we have moments where we butt heads or scrap, who doesn’t? Thing is, we solve our problems quick usually. Maybe I am delusional, but I think she’s pretty much perfect. For me at least.

If you’re ever enough to meet your dream girl, marry her. I plan to, without question… someday I will marry this girl. She’s everything I have ever wanted, and more. She makes me feel amazing, she supports everything I do, she is quite simply, my better half, my split apart, the reason I wake in the morning.

I would wish that you all find what I have found with B. Seriously. My B makes me smile each and every time I look at her. Most of the time it’s because I know what she means to me, but yes, sometimes… it’s because deep down, I’m a fucking pervert. This girl has a body that just defies logic. I see other hot girls and I think to myself… meh… my b is hotter.

What can I tell you, I’m in love. I’m in love with my dream girl. A girl I never expected to find. I a girl I never knew was possible. She’s fucking amazing… and yes, since you read all that stuff (or scrolled to here)… I’ll post some photos so you can see who it is that I am bragging about.

Kick ass wallpaper for ya  (1900 x 1200)

Let me tell you how great a girlfriend she is… I’ll go to the store, I’ll come home and find a folder on my desktop of photos that I didn’t take.. no, these are images that she took for me. She knows I go nuts over her body, her curves, her in every single way actually.. haha.

I’ll give one warning… there are no more images than the ones posted. If I see one motherfucker trying to fusker my shit, I’ll ban your ip address outright, so you’ll get no more goodies. In short, don’t be a cock sucker, that’s your Mom’s job.

Random shit from internets

Alright fist fuckers, it’s that time again. Praise Jesus, Allah, Gandhi, whoever the fuck you call the high mighty. I’m going to give you more random crapola.

First things first…

you will never be this lucky.. and this gets the

Olympic wedge

uhh… yeah… your wife will love this.

I have gotten some emails from some of you girlyboys wanting to see my shaved cock, so here ya go. Jesus, I post a video of my balls and the world goes cutesy. fuck.

“No, seriously, I know Adam Sandler.”

edit: nice air boner from behind their captain queero

 
Go check out Nikki, she rocks the house.

The most accurate take off ad I have ever seen

 
this guy gets all the girls. fact

Way cool geeky mario brothers tattoo

Send this to your girlfriend and she will have the sex with you.

I’m gay for Smallville so here’s Lois Lane for ya… Eric Durance NUDE. Not that it matters, but some of you geeks like me might have been like.. whoa when you first seen these.

avatar time… (use these in forums yo) more here

What a rough day

How was your day? Today I had to shoot these two hot girls, which of course, totally sucked. (not really) One was my girlfriend (far right side) with killer ass and dark hair.

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