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My Girlfriend

Sep

When writing a post about one’s girlfriend, one needs to decide ahead of time is he going to be one of the guys and write as a typical guy might… or if he’s going to be more sensitive and write from the heart, not caring if other guys reading later make fun of him for being “whipped”.

For me though, this is a no brainer. My girlfriend is fucking amazing. I met her in 2006 while I was dating someone else. I was on the tail end of dating someone else, the girl I was dating was fucking bothersome and then some, always trying to change me and make me something I wasn’t. Wanting me to quit working with models, you name it.

So I meet my current girlfriend, who we’ll call “B”. I met her and we became friends while I was dating this other girl. I had broken up with the other girl like, 2 times already, I had gotten sick of her (other gf)shit and well, I was at the stage of breaking things off a third time. Why the hell I kept taking back a gf that was not right for me… I’ll never know. I’ve always been the one to break up, and I always got chased by ex’s wanting to reconcile, and I was never dumb enough to do it, but anyway… moving along…

I meet B and we become good friends, she is hanging out with me all the time and it’s like, hanging with one of the guys. She’s down to earth, she’s smart as hell and believe me, that is soooo nice. I have worked with girls for 11 years, a girl being hot is great but trust me, it’s not that important. If you’ve ever dated a hot girl that is dumb as a mud fence, you know that once the sex wears off, you start wishing she’d get hit by a truck or something because talking with her is like fucking Sesame Street or something. been there, done that, more times then I care to admit.

so B and I were quickly becoming amazing friends. She lived near by and then later, we become roommates, as friends of course. I had a crush on her after awhile because she was everything I wanted, but was never able to find. The fact that she’s beautiful was and is merely a bonus.

Have you ever had to dumb down your conversation for someone? You walk away actually feeling bad because you’re smart. With B, she understood me, she followed what I was saying and not only that, she could add to the conversation. WTF? Is this girl for real?

I immediately was on guard… she’s telling me what I want to hear. She *MUST* be. I figured we’d start dating and then sure as hell, right on schedule… she’d try and change me like all the others before her had. She’d tell me she didn’t like me working with hot girls, that she was insecure and one thing would lead to another and booya, my ass is unhappy all over again.

Nope, never happened. Instead, she’d tell me about how she loved what I did and she admired me for what I did. Like I said, she was one of the guys, but with boobs. Through the past two years dating B, I have to come to learn that each day, I love her more than the day before. Sure we have moments where we butt heads or scrap, who doesn’t? Thing is, we solve our problems quick usually. Maybe I am delusional, but I think she’s pretty much perfect. For me at least.

If you’re ever enough to meet your dream girl, marry her. I plan to, without question… someday I will marry this girl. She’s everything I have ever wanted, and more. She makes me feel amazing, she supports everything I do, she is quite simply, my better half, my split apart, the reason I wake in the morning.

I would wish that you all find what I have found with B. Seriously. My B makes me smile each and every time I look at her. Most of the time it’s because I know what she means to me, but yes, sometimes… it’s because deep down, I’m a fucking pervert. This girl has a body that just defies logic. I see other hot girls and I think to myself… meh… my b is hotter.

with friend with friend 2

What can I tell you, I’m in love. I’m in love with my dream girl. A girl I never expected to find. I a girl I never knew was possible. She’s fucking amazing… and yes, since you read all that stuff (or scrolled to here)… I’ll post some photos so you can see who it is that I am bragging about.

Kick ass wallpaper for ya (1900 x 1200)

Let me tell you how great a girlfriend she is… I’ll go to the store, I’ll come home and find a folder on my desktop of photos that I didn’t take.. no, these are images that she took for me. She knows I go nuts over her body, her curves, her in every single way actually.. haha.

I’ll give one warning… there are no more images than the ones posted. If I see one motherfucker trying to fusker my shit, I’ll ban your ip address outright, so you’ll get no more goodies. In short, don’t be a cock sucker, that’s your Mom’s job.

Posted by eltardo on September 22, 2008 | Posted in ass, background, desktops, fap, girlfriend, high res, me, personal, porn, pron, sex | No Comments »

Matte Black GT-R Desktop

Aug

Lung (the owner of this bad ass car) was good enough to send me some high res photos of his baby. I’ll be posting them shortly, but for now.. here is one of the images, made into 1900 x 1200 for desktops. Click for high res of course… then right click, save as desktop. booya. smile. thx Lung!

2009 Matte Black Nissan GT-R

If you’d like to see my earlier post with Lung’s car, click here.

Much respect/love to Vanq for the bad ass images.

Posted by eltardo on August 26, 2008 | Posted in background, desktops, gt-r, high res, nissan, sex, wallpaper | No Comments »

My Ex is the Biggest Loser

Jun

I’d like to take a trip down memory lane… come with me, won’t you? kthx. I have to give you back story or this shit won’t be extra funny.

I was living in the States awhile back, and I was married to this woman named Michelle. Michelle and I dated, doing the long distance thing for about a year before moving in together and then later, about seven months later… we went to Vegas and got hitched. Go figure.

I thought Michelle was my world. She seemed to get me. I seemed to get her. Things were going better than ever, and then, without fighting, without arguing, without anything… she up and leaves. Literally. We’d been married three years at this point. Something seemed really, really off though. I mean, we had a relationship that made our friends sick. We never fought, we were each other’s best friends… but then, she started working at a local restaurant. No big deal… except she was getting hustled by a waiter that worked there. this, of course, not known by me.

So we split and she tells me she wants a divorce. I was devastated but hey, what can ya do right? I of course blamed myself for everything, even though, as I said.. we were never fighting. I was confused as hell… but then some friends started to fill in the picture for me. She’d be running around on me, cheating with this waiter that was almost 5 years older than me and had been through 3 failed marriages already at this point. She got played, hard.

So I got cheated on, meh, you learn to accept it and move the fuck on, ya know? I’m actually incredibly happy it happened because truth is, we were never right for each other. She’s a fucking cunt, and well… I’m really a swell guy. hahahahaha I’m kidding, I’m not perfect by any means. She is a cunt though. (duh)

When we were dating, she went from being normal healthy size to getting a lot bigger. Like.. 5′1, 180 lbs range. Girl liked to chow down. Did I leave her? No. Did I bribe her sex with Oreos? no… I understand when someone is bigger it’s depressing and hard on the person, but come on, we control what we eat. We can get healthy if we chose to.

I stayed by her and taught her how to get her weight under control. She went on to drop the weight and get healthy again. I stayed by her side the entire time we were married, being the supportive husband. Yes, I told you before.. I rock.

So… the reason for this post… hahaha.. this shit kills me.

I heard from a *very* reliable source that my ex has been accepted to be on the NBC tv show “The Biggest Loser”. If you’re not familiar with this show… it’s like this: Bigger people sign up, try and lose more weight than the people they are competing against.

So, when I look back on my cheating cunt of an ex, I can smile and think to myself… man, she really was the biggest loser.

Also.. as the saying goes, everything happens for a reason. I wouldn’t actually wish anything bad on her, I’d wish her all the happiness and success life brings her way. I myself, am much happier now without her in my life. If Shell had been faithful, odds are I’d still be with her and I wouldn’t have met my current gf, that I have been with now for 2 years as of tomorrow. I learned a lot from Shell, like, you can keep a bigger girl happy by getting them a gift card to Safeway. Shit like that.

Fortunately… I don’t have to worry about my current gf exploding out of her jeans. She’s a size 2 or something. I dunno, she wears XS and often that is even too big for her. If she later grew out to be 180 lbs… I’d stick by her, because it’s not the outer package that makes the person amazing. Weight doesn’t matter, it’s what’s inside, ya know?

My GF is the fucking shit. She’s smart, funny, is a geek like me that does web stuff (she designs sites, runs her own blogs etc) and to top it off, she’s hot as fuck. Hello icing on the cake.

See, things *do* happen for a reason.

Thank you Michelle for… well, being you. I hope everything worked out great for you, it sure as hell did for me. heh

Posted by eltardo on June 3, 2008 | Posted in background, biggest loser, wtf | No Comments »

yay burritos!

My Girlfriend

Matte Black GT-R Desktop

My Ex is the Biggest Loser

my current desktop

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