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more updates here!

3

Oct

My girlfriend watches the show “The Hills” on MTV and she loves it. I myself have never seen a full episode so I can’t really tell you much about the show, but I can talk about one of the “stars” of the show, Heidi Montag. Fuck I hate this bitch. I’m a nice enough guy, but seriously, this girl would be a nobody if it weren’t for the producer she fucked thinking he could tap her ass for months and months to come if he slapped her on some show with a couple small lines.

Now everywhere she goes, those retarded Paparazzi ’s follow her which of course gives her the feeling she’s important. Swell. Just fucking swell.

Heidi Montag at Taco Bell
Bitch lips goes to Taco Bell and that’s somehow NEWS WORTHY? Jesus fuck. Are you kidding me? This walking sperm receptacle was one career move away from WORKING at Taco Bell. She has the intelligence of a fucking carrot.

Heidi Montag at Taco Bell
I love buddies thumb there… you know he’s going to go around telling his friends how Heidi Montag stopped by his drive thru window today and he got in the picture too, you know this right? You’ve given Hector Martinez a reason to keep on living, when he was oh so close to taking his miserable life. Thanks Heidi, cunt.

Honestly, I think a woman should be valued for what’s upstairs and then if she has looks or style, great, bonus points but her brain has to matter. When a penis pump like Heidi Montag is allowed to prance around with her gay cock taking pretend husband Spencer, what sort of role models are we giving to the kids? You too can be a fucking retard and as long as you suck enough dick, you’ll get to the top!

At what point did Rocket Scientist Heidi figure taking a photo in the drive thru window of a Taco bell was a good career move? Wow. this woman’s decision making boggles me.

The only thing about Heidi that is worth any attention, are her melons. Seriously, that’s it. Heidi, when your 15 minutes are over and the camera crew has left, when you need work, I’m always hiring. You’ll be back in front of the camera with your melons in no time. In the mean time, pls die. kthx.

Heidi Montag holding her melons

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Posted by eltardo on October 3, 2008 | Posted in celebrity, heidi montag | No Comments »

26

Aug

I Hate Heidi Montag. I Hate Heidi Montag. I Hate Heidi Montag. Who is Heidi Montag and why do I hate Heidi Montag? heh, glad you asked. I’m going to rant like a little bitch for a moment, deal with it.

/fag mode on

heidi montag cannot act or sing
The only thing good about Heidi Montag is her tits.

Heidi Montag is this California bottle blond with fake boobs that is on MTV’s tv “reality” (and I use the word LOOSELY) show “The Hills”. She is one of the females on the show anyway and I think why i hate this dumb cunt so much is because you see her no matter where you look online when it comes to celebrity blogs and what not. I’m a guy so for all intents and purpose, I am not supposed to like celebrity gossip and shit like that. That sort of stuff is not supposed to interest me, but let’s face it, some of the drama and melt downs these fucks have is funny. So yeah, from time to time I surf my ass over to EgoTastic or others.

When there, I seem to always have this dumb Heidi Montag retard shoved in my face. I wouldn’t mind because she’s fun to look at. She has a huge fake rack and yes, I love boobies like any guy. Thing that makes me want to boot fuck her, are the stupid expressions she seems to make time and time again. She does these “OMG” looks, acting like she’s shocked because a camera is snapping her photo. Bitch needs to get a refund on her acting lessons.  She’s a fucking retard, plain and simple. She stages photo moments with her co star and supposed boyfriend Spencer, and don’t get me started on this guy.. he looks like he takes it in the pipe daily.  Seriously the gayest looking gueerbot I have ever seen and we’re supposed to believe he’s straight?

Spencer is a homo
if this guy is straight, I’m the fucking pope.

Then on top of it, Heidi tells the media over and over she’s a virgin? A FUCKING VIRGIN? With THAT body?  Maybe she is. I think Spencer is a huge fagbot, so it could be possible.

heidi montag fake boobs

Heidi’s 15 minutes of fame ended last year, yet here she is… trying to act famous in every fucking photo. Seriously google for her and you’ll hate her as much as I do. Google for Heidi Montag Naked for fun or Heidi Montag Blowjob

I wonder how many people will come here because they googled those terms. bahaha fuckers. Fail. Fall on a knife or something.

Heidi Montag blowjob bottle 

This is about as close to a Heidi Montag blowjob you’ll ever see.

I still say this princess would be better suited for porn, but her god might not like that. Meh, fuck it. I am fairly certain Heidi isn’t a role model for anyone other than guys with a box of kleenex and some lotion beside their computer screen. Truth.

Heidi, please, give up acting. Give up singing, your shit is painful at the best of times. Stick to doing what you best sweetheart, blowing MTV producers and taking it in the ass so it doesn’t count against your virginity. Also, please die. :)

/fag mode off.

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Posted by eltardo on August 26, 2008 | Posted in babes, breasts, heidi montag, lol, non nude, rant, stupid | No Comments »