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My Girlfriend

When writing a post about one’s girlfriend, one needs to decide ahead of time is he going to be one of the guys and write as a typical guy might… or if he’s going to be more sensitive and write from the heart, not caring if other guys reading later make fun of him for being “whipped”.

For me though, this is a no brainer. My girlfriend is fucking amazing. I met her in 2006 while I was dating someone else. I was on the tail end of dating someone else, the girl I was dating was fucking bothersome and then some, always trying to change me and make me something I wasn’t. Wanting me to quit working with models, you name it.

So I meet my current girlfriend, who we’ll call “B”. I met her and we became friends while I was dating this other girl. I had broken up with the other girl like, 2 times already, I had gotten sick of her (other gf)shit and well, I was at the stage of breaking things off a third time. Why the hell I kept taking back a gf that was not right for me… I’ll never know. I’ve always been the one to break up, and I always got chased by ex’s wanting to reconcile, and I was never dumb enough to do it, but anyway… moving along…

I meet B and we become good friends, she is hanging out with me all the time and it’s like, hanging with one of the guys. She’s down to earth, she’s smart as hell and believe me, that is soooo nice. I have worked with girls for 11 years, a girl being hot is great but trust me, it’s not that important. If you’ve ever dated a hot girl that is dumb as a mud fence, you know that once the sex wears off, you start wishing she’d get hit by a truck or something because talking with her is like fucking Sesame Street or something. been there, done that, more times then I care to admit.

so B and I were quickly becoming amazing friends. She lived near by and then later, we become roommates, as friends of course. I had a crush on her after awhile because she was everything I wanted, but was never able to find. The fact that she’s beautiful was and is merely a bonus.

Have you ever had to dumb down your conversation for someone? You walk away actually feeling bad because you’re smart. With B, she understood me, she followed what I was saying and not only that, she could add to the conversation. WTF? Is this girl for real?

I immediately was on guard… she’s telling me what I want to hear. She *MUST* be. I figured we’d start dating and then sure as hell, right on schedule… she’d try and change me like all the others before her had. She’d tell me she didn’t like me working with hot girls, that she was insecure and one thing would lead to another and booya, my ass is unhappy all over again.

Nope, never happened. Instead, she’d tell me about how she loved what I did and she admired me for what I did. Like I said, she was one of the guys, but with boobs. Through the past two years dating B, I have to come to learn that each day, I love her more than the day before. Sure we have moments where we butt heads or scrap, who doesn’t? Thing is, we solve our problems quick usually. Maybe I am delusional, but I think she’s pretty much perfect. For me at least.

If you’re ever enough to meet your dream girl, marry her. I plan to, without question… someday I will marry this girl. She’s everything I have ever wanted, and more. She makes me feel amazing, she supports everything I do, she is quite simply, my better half, my split apart, the reason I wake in the morning.

I would wish that you all find what I have found with B. Seriously. My B makes me smile each and every time I look at her. Most of the time it’s because I know what she means to me, but yes, sometimes… it’s because deep down, I’m a fucking pervert. This girl has a body that just defies logic. I see other hot girls and I think to myself… meh… my b is hotter.

What can I tell you, I’m in love. I’m in love with my dream girl. A girl I never expected to find. I a girl I never knew was possible. She’s fucking amazing… and yes, since you read all that stuff (or scrolled to here)… I’ll post some photos so you can see who it is that I am bragging about.

Kick ass wallpaper for ya  (1900 x 1200)

Let me tell you how great a girlfriend she is… I’ll go to the store, I’ll come home and find a folder on my desktop of photos that I didn’t take.. no, these are images that she took for me. She knows I go nuts over her body, her curves, her in every single way actually.. haha.

I’ll give one warning… there are no more images than the ones posted. If I see one motherfucker trying to fusker my shit, I’ll ban your ip address outright, so you’ll get no more goodies. In short, don’t be a cock sucker, that’s your Mom’s job.

Being Bald

So I have always had my hair longer, maybe 2-4 inches area, and then of course like a lot of guys, I’d throw styling crap in it to make it look gay etc. Earlier this summer, I was laying in bed and I was sweating like crazy and I decided fuck it… I got up, I shaved my hair down to the 1 setting on the electric plug in clipper. You know the razors your parents would use to trim ya, the trimmers they use when you get a hair cut.. you know the ones.

Anyway, I was on the 1 setting… so I figured fuck it, I removed the guard and just used the clipper, bare teeth/cutting thingies etc. Much shorter… I was liking it too. Then it happened. My girlfriend asks me why don’t I shave it bald? I explain that 1 in 20 guys if you’re lucky looks decent bald, and I’m pretty sure I’m not one of them.

A few weeks passed, I would trim my hair down to near nothingness every 4-5 days with the aid of my sexy better half. Then the other night I am looking in the mirror, and I figured… fuck it. All or nothing time. I didn’t want to use a blade/shaving cream because well, I have little nicks and bumps and I’m a pussy, alright? I didn’t exactly relish the thought of razor cuts on my melon. Fuck that noise, I’ll use my trusty Philips triple head shaver. This is sure to piss off and aggravate my scalp.

So after about 10 minutes of going back and forth, back and forth… I am left with as close to bald as I will ever go, being that… as I said, I won’t use a razor. In many areas though, it was smooth like a baby’s bottom so the triple head razor worked just fine.

yes, that’s one my shitters behind me

So what did I learn from being bald? Well, first off, it sucks. You feel every fucking breeze on your head, you honestly have no idea how much your hair does… until you have none there. It does feel kind of cool in the shower. Normally hair creates this foil where water drops down an inch off your face or whatever… not now though. Now it just races through every crack and cranny on your head, you basically get a mouthful of water if your mouth is open.

I also learnt that my scalp sure as shit doesn’t tan. It’s like I’m powder (you know, the movie? powder? the movie “powder”? forget it). I have a tan on my face and body more or less, then this perfect white helmet where hair used to be… it’s erie. Not erie good either. Thus, hello Mr Baseball cap. Fuck having conviction and wearing my baldness proudly. No, I don’t think so. I made a dumb call late at night. Nothing more, nothing less. At least I can say I have been bald once though… my hair grows back fast, I figure 3-5 days and I have hair again. Short stubbles… but still hair.

The one thing about this ever so non existent hair style that I do kind of like… I can see my scar on my head.

I got this scar from the bottom of a beer bottle in a fight. Well, not sure if I can call it a fight, it was more getting attacked than anything. I was walking late at night with my then gf’s best friend home from the store, across a field.. about 2 in the morning. We were jumped by two guys trying to mug us, they matched their footsteps to ours so we didn’t hear them approaching quickly, the field wasn’t grass, it was more weeds, dirt, some grass… you know, typical undeveloped field between condos. So I got smoked over the head with a beer bottle from behind, the guy came running up behind me, jumped up in the air and past me with the intention of coming down on my head with the beer bottle. I got a 3 inch triangular wedge stuck in my cranial cap. Good times. The ending of the story, I fucked up both guys badly. I’ve got a black belt in Kenpo Karate (although I haven’t trained for over ten years so my black is def not black anymore). I only hit each of them once in the face, they got their one hit on me with a beer bottle.

Get this shit, they actually tried to have *ME* charged with assault. I gave them both hairline fractures in the face bone and one of the guys, I cracked his eye socket as well. The judge of course was like… get the fuck out of my court room. So the bruised and rather puffy faced (swollen) bad guys lost and also got charged with assault with a deadly weapon (broken glass) on myself and my ex gf’s best friend. Yes, justice worked for once, it was awesome. Anyway… I digress…

Being bald… it’s… well, not all it’s cracked up to be. I’m not one of the 1 in 20 that can pull it off, this I am certain. Now if my hair is crazy short, like, trimmer level 0 so it’s *almost* bald… that I can live with. You’d be surprised what a difference a few millimeters of hair actually does.

Updates are fun

So what’s goin’ on in your world Life for me is doing great. I’m busy as hell, which I love… it just means that I wish there were two of me.

I shaved my melon, completely. I’m not totally bald to skin, I myself think there are like, 1 in 20 guys can pull that off and I know I’m not one of them. I am told the new do looks good though. My girlfriend tells me she loves the look, it’s crazy short. If you think of a razor that you’d trim hair with… now take the guard off so it’s basically just the teeth… so shorter than a 1 setting and you’ve got it. Bald with stubble more or less. I love it. It’s funny how fast people get the fuck out of my way now. hahaha I’m a skinhead apparently. Great.

I’m not really doing that 15 pounds in 21 days thing anymore, to be honest the shit got boring. Yes, it works. it works WELL. I was trimming up and dropping weight, but truth is… I like being bigger. I’m not fat by any means, I have some tone, I can see my side muscles etc. I wear a XL or XXL shirt depending on who makes it, mostly because I’ve been working out a lot and my chest and arms have increased, so my back has as well. It’s fucked up, go to try on shirts and grab a large and it’s skin tight. Some XL’s are like that too. gay

I’m excited about getting back into working out, I’m still going to do what I have learned in Philip Goglia’s programs. I grabbed his book and took a quick look at it and holy shit.. dude knows his shit.

I like being a big kid sometimes and eating Pizza or junk food. I love being healthy and gaining size/strength.. but from time to time, I need to be 15 again, alright with you?

I grabbed two other books recently to help me in designing my tattoos. Mythology, the art of Alex Ross (but I grabbed the hardcover which is no longer in print) and then the second book is the DC Comics Encyclopedia.. it details every damn thing I could ever dream of. I’m getting more and more excited about getting inked, but I have pushed it back from Sept to a little later. I have more important things to take care of first.

Let’s see.. what else is new… umm… nothing, other than work work work. I freaking love my job, correction.. I love my life.

Being Single

So, single folk, fill me in. What’s so great about being single? I’ve been a member of your club from time to time in the past, but if I am being honest… I’m not sure what all the fuss is about.

When single, you do what you want, when you want. That’s a plus for sure, but if you’re with the right person, be that person male or female… it’s sort of the same because you share interests. So you still get to do all that crazy shit you’d do when you’re alone, but you have a partner in crime. Well, other than turning on porn and spanking the monkey full time. Then again, with the right partner, you can do that too.

I have friends in relationships and they are miserable. I have friends that are single and they are miserable. Everyone seems to want what they don’t have, until they have it, then they don’t want it anymore. umm.. wha? Confusing. I know.

I’ve been dating the same woman now for over two years. I love her, without question. Sure, we have moments were we want to take Louisville sluggers to each other, but hey, it’s only because we *love* each other. Of course I’m kidding, we’d never take bats to one another. Where the fuck are we going to get bats? No, we’d use brooms, irons, George Foreman grill plates in a jiffy. You improvise, ya know? Girl threw turkey at me once. I don’t mean sliced deli meat, I mean a frozen fucking bird!

(I kidd, I kidd.. she doesn’t throw stuff at me)

We have moments where we don’t see eye to eye, but it can usually be attributed to her being right and me being wrong. I’m a guy, and one thing about being a guy that I have come to terms with is that although we mean well… we’re often idiots. I’m not saying women are perfect, because we both know they are..er… aren’t. Nobody is. We bump heads, cooler heads prevail and we work past it. Too many people give up or throw it away.

Seriously… how many times have you gotten in a fight or serious talk that went to a place you really didn’t want it to go.. and then it happens… you break up. You think… what? WHAT!? I didn’t mean to say that… but you did. you did say it. It’s done. When I look back, I have said things I didn’t mean, I have done things I didn’t mean, but when things are done, things are said… one needs to own it. One needs to either backtrack and hope to fuck the other person is in a giving mood… or one needs to move on.

When I met my current girlfriend, I was dating this other girl that I had broken up with three times. She was and is a great girl, just not great for me. We were moving in different directions, I could see it, I know she could see it.. but she didn’t want to admit it. I couldn’t be with someone that was resentful of my work, my friends, my life. I was friends with my current gf for awhile before we actually took a shot at dating. We saw the good, the bad, the ugly sides of one another ahead of time.

I suggest that to you all. Don’t just meet someone and start dating them. That fucking blows. You never know what you’re going to get. Everyone pretends to be something else when dating, at first anyway. You put your best foot forward and sometimes… you forget that eventually, you have to be yourself again. You’ll lower your guard and what if they don’t like what they see?

Ah fuck it, why bother right? That was my attitude. I was perfectly happy being single. Nothing wrong with being single. Masturbation isn’t as much fun as when dating though. I do have a couple friends that are single and love it. I’m not sure if they’d trade it for a relationship if they had the shot at one. I’m sure if they wanted to date, they’d be dating.

There is nothing wrong with being single, I just prefer to be in the other clubhouse is all. Membership has it’s privileges. For example, when I am feeling off, she picks me up. When I need inspiration, she smiles and I’m filled with hope. She knows me better in some ways than I know myself and although I’m not sure why we are where we are in life…. I know we’re here. I look on the past as a lesson that got me to this point. This intersection. this moment. What I do with it, is anyone’s guess.

What I share with my girlfriend, I would wish for everyone I know, but in doing so… I know some of you would fuck up. You’re human, it’s in our nature. Sometimes those fuck ups though… bring you to the next step, the next doorway if you will. the next relationship that might fill your life with more warmth, more love, more meaning than you previously knew possible.

My buddy Glen knows what I am saying. he came and stayed with me for a few days about a month or so back… and when he was here, all he could do was talk of this woman, Mandie. The way he spoke of her, was poetry. I could tell that to him, she was more than just someone to date, she was an equal. Someone he could relate to, someone he could share things with. Someone he could be, Glen, with.

I am gay for these two crazy kids.

Trust me kiddies, finding someone you can be your true self with… is rare indeed. If you find that, hold on to it. Fight for it, never let go. Glen, buddy, you rock. I wish you nothing but the best, brother.

To you single folk out there, keep on keepin on, when you want to find her, or him… it’s possible. Often, the greatest discoveries, are right in front of you.

I found someone that means more to me than I knew possible. She’s everything I want, she’s everything I need. She makes me a better person and she makes me want to be a better man. Like I said, I wish for you, everything I’ve found. Except no.. you can’t have my girlfriend. She’s mine. Meh!

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