yay burritos!

Mouse sex

So I have been needing a new mouse for some time. The one I had is wireless and well, it didn’t seem as accurate as I’d have liked. I’m not a gamer so it’s not that my frag count was down, I work a lot in Photoshop etc and being accurate to the pixel is important.

A friend told me recently about a mouse he picked up. He said it was the most accurate mouse he’d ever used. It was basically mouse sex. I needed a new mouse, like I said… so I figured fuck it, I’ll check it out.

The Logitech G9 is amazing. 3200 dpi sensitivity. Wireless mice send back around 100 reports per second to your computer, that in turn gives you your accuracy, where the pointer should be, what you’re doing with your mouse etc.

The Logitech G9… 1000 reports per second. It’s corded but meh, not a big issue. It looks strange and I remember thinking, that’s an ugly fucking mouse. I figured it’d be crazy wide and well, full of suck. I was wrong, this thing is crazy. Amazing, I lurve it. The perfect addition to any geek’s desk. It is the best gaming mouse you can buy as well, so if you’re a gamer.. score.

Stupid side note… see those red LED lights? you can change the colour of those in the software so they’re blue, red, whatever colour you want. haha. Mine are blue. The lights show the sensitivity level you have your mouse set at, how fast or slow it’s running, how many dpi it’s set at. (dpi = dots per inch) The more lights, the higher the setting, the more accurate yo shit is.

Thanks for the tip, Assy. You were right.

World of Whorecraft - Whorelore

I don’t play World of Warcraft. I have a life, thanks. I honestly think games are fine and well until they take over your life where you cease to exist other then in you’re online life.

Regardless of what I think of WoW, this shit made me laugh out loud, for reals, even.

WhoreLore – World of Whorecraft. (LOLOLOLOL)

Copy/pasted from their site…

The Lores continue…

Our journey begins with our heros banding together to fight a greater evil, although they do not know that destiny will bring them together, the Whores of the Lore will eventually destroy Torro. The evil baron whom controls the lands.

The journey starts as two friends test there skills on the battlefield but get distracted on other business, while the elven priest and her half sister make there way to the circle of summons to gain access to greater powers. Although they got more than what they bargained for as the keeper of the stones returns.

But in a distant land, the battle is being fought on 2 fronts as Titus, the leader of the Light is captured and held prisoner. Only Shyla, the hunter, can track him down. They eventually find him and rally the Whores to take on Torro before he is able to summon his troops to the field.

However, all is not what it seems as a spy has breached the lines and has stolen valuable information. The traitor returns to his master to report his findings and the final battle begins as the Whores face off with Torro in a last effort to save there land.

But it seems all is not well, a new evil is stirring in the East, the Blackened lands have awakened and with it, brings a new terror. As the ever darkness spills into the lands our heros face a new quest. One that involves the entire world.

click this for a chuckle

The porn world never ceases to amaze me, seriously. Good times, even for those without girlfriends, still living at home with Mom.

Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe Review

Ok, so I have no had a chance to play Moral Kombat vs Dc Universe. If you look below, you’ll find an earlier post with photos from the unwrapping of the Kollector’s Edition.

Batman home schools Scorpion

HOLY SHIT.

That’s it. That’s my review.

Buy this game if you have a PS3 or Xbox 360. It’s fucking incredible. The bonus disc in the Kollector’s Edition has a lot of behind the scenes videos and what not, showing how the game was filmed, the actual step by step process. Pretty cool from a geek perspective.

I have only tried story mode thus far and it’s cool as hell. This is a game I can see myself spending a lot of time playing. Oh yeah, you can also connect to the online world for free (PS3 ONLY) and play against other people with the game.

It is, as the kids say, tits.

Unwrapping Mortal Kombat versus DC Universe

Today was a good day for me. I finally got my hands on a game I have been waiting for for a long time. Mortal Kombat versus DC Universe. I pre-ordered the Kollector’s Edition, costs $10 more and is it worth it? FUCK YES.

I did some photos/scans of what is included in the Kollector’s Edition. The cover was painted by Alex Ross. I posted a video about this painting earlier, if you missed it, it’s cool as hell….. check it here.

click for medium size *OR* click HERE for retarded HUGE size.

 
The clear sleeve covered a black box. Nice touch.

   
Inside the box, three additions.. the game disc, a comic explaining why/how the DC Universe came to battle the MK crew and then a signed Alex Ross print, albeit small. (as seen at top of post)

  
bonus Blue Ray disc with other goodies, the storylines for each character etc. very cool shit. Not sure if this comes with regular version of the game or not. If anyone out there buys this for PS3, let me know. =) eltardocom@gmail.com  

I want to tell you I have played this already but truth is, I haven’t had a chance yet… been too busy with work. I’ll give it a go though soon enough, muhahahaha

Fuck yeah I’m excited.

Being Normal is Lame

So can somebody tell me what is so fucking great about being “normal”? I was talking to this guy I know earlier today and he was telling me how he sees himself leaving the adult industry inside the next year or so.

I was perplexed.. the guy makes good money, a shitload more then any job is going to pay him, so what’s the problem? I suspect it has to do with his wife, she just had a child.

Now it is not fair to make an assumption that it is her doing, I understand that. I am calling upon personal experience though when I guess, and that’s all it really is as to why he’s leaving. If I had a dime for every time an ex tried to get me to leave the adult line of work and get a “normal” job, I’d have enough to buy me a slurpee. I honestly think the majority of the times, the girls were just paranoid or insecure with themselves. I get it though, I do, really. I mean… if your man is looking at hot women all day, is he still going to find you hot?

Sigh. I feel for them, I do. Fortunately my girlfriend is amazing and she works along side me as my equal. She isn’t afraid of losing me to another girl, and I’m not afraid of losing her to another guy. We work well together and that’s what matters… but I digress..

What the fuck is so grand about being normal?

Let’s see… if I had a “normal” job/life I’d be waking up at a set time to go to work with the same people day in say out, I would have to deal with shit traffic possibly, or shit weather, or shit moods at the office such as a cocksucking boss… hmmmmm sounds intriguing.. what have I been missing all this time?

Nothing.

Normality sucks in so many different colours it’s stupid. Why the fuck would I want to be like the next guy. He’s stressed about his job, he’s worried about the value of the dollar, the stock markets, he’s freaking out because his company might go tits up.

My industry will never die. Booze, Narcotics, Porn. That’s it kids. Find yourself a career in one of these three and yee shall never want for more.

I’m not rich by any means, but I sure as shit am not stressed the fuck out because I don’t know how I’m paying my rent next month. I have been that guy, stressing over money, having nothing really other then hopes and a plan to get out of the hole….believe it… I have been there and it sucks ballsack. Why would I ever want to return?

The only shitty thing about what I do is that there are those that don’t like it. So what, I don’t have a job that you approve of. is your approval rating going to pay my bills? I didn’t think so.

Yes, I could get a $50,000 to $100,000 a year job (before taxes) and that’s awesome. I have some friends that make really good money and that’s tits. They love their jobs and that’s awesome. Nothing wrong with living a normal life if it’s right for you, or if it makes you happy. I’m saying why would I leave my job for a normal one… that’s where the confusion comes into play.

In my job, I control my future 100%. Nobody can fire me tomorrow. Nobody can have a shit day, blame me and I get the boot. I don’t sick because some dork in my office has a kid with a cold, I don’t have to deal with bullshit that most do.

I deal with girl drama on occasion and that blows, but shit, it beats the hell out of the other options. heh

So listen man, you go on and quit the adult industry, you try the normal life because you somehow feel better about yourself making less money, being stressed and working longer hours to get by. Go for it man. Seriously. Maybe it’ll work out for you and if it does, that’s awesome, good for you.

I know people in the adult biz that make more in a month then anyone I know makes in a year. No schooling. no dickhead bosses. Just hard work, dedication and a willingness to say fuck you to being normal.

Normal is over rated. I’ll take being an outcast.

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• Don’t steal my Pringles
• Sarah Palin is a fucking retard
• OMGFUNNYPIX
• Creepy old guys
• Denise Milani has HUGE Breasts
• Mouse sex
• World of Whorecraft - Whorelore
• Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe Review
• Unwrapping Mortal Kombat versus DC Universe
• Being Normal is Lame
• Blue 370z
• Vikki Blows
• Iraq War Ends
• My Own Worst Enemy Cancelled
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• Bad Senior Class Photos
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• Oh Snap – Best Flash Game Ever
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• Ninja Kittens are awesome in a gay way
• This is some cool claymation
• My book arrived
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• Nissan 370z in Europe
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• Buddy Pump
• WTF do you mean a black guy is in charge
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• Vote
• Joe the Plumber offers to clean McCain’s pipes
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• One more for tonight
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• Longest tongue in the world
• Alice Shannon of Soldotna, Alaska, loves Atheists
• Cosplay Breasts
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• Reality sometimes sucks
• Stop! Obamatime!
• Sarah Palin got PRANKED
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• Eltardo of the Week: John McCain
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• Eltardo Search terms – part 1
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• Getting sick is lame